Show Recaps

Below Deck Mediterranean: What You Need To Know

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BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN

During the premiere episode of Below Deck Mediterranean Hannah and Bobby are joined by seven new shipmates. 

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

An incredibly attractive crew with generally limited yachting experience has set sail across in the waters off of Croatia working to deliver a luxury experience for guests. The yacht’s captain Sandy is a micromanager with a warm heart and a wardrobe from Vineyard Vines. As the crew faces long hours catering to each of the guests annoying and varying needs they experience cabin fever, power struggles, love triangles, over consumption of alcohol, and sun damage.

STAFF

  • Chief Stewardess Hannah – Kate Winslet’s unrelated twin sister.
  • Deckhand Bobby – Quit firefighting and now wears Invisalign
  • Chef Adam – Lives in a van.
  • Second Stew Christine “Bugsy” – South African with large eyeballs, thinks Hannah sucks at her job.
  • Third Stew Lauren – Family owns a restaurant in Fort Lauderdale, dated Bobby for a month, and was at one point an NFL cheerleader.
  • Deckhand Malia – Hawaiian beauty ready to makeout with every guy on staff.
  • Deckhand Max – Former bartender in Ibiza with no experience working on a boat. Large teeth.
  • Bosun Wes – Super reliable, not to be confused with Wiz Khalifa.

KEY OBSERVATIONS

  1. It is unusual to have a woman captain, which is why Sandy has to remind you every three minutes that she is successful.
  2. Charter guests can be real a-holes about food preferences.
  3. The Sirocco has a work out room with rolled towels, an elliptical machine, and free weights. I did not spot a Thigh Master or a step for aerobics.
  4. They store wine bottles underneath the yacht’s furniture.
  5. Most of the cabinets in a yacht are jam packed with crap.
  6. You can fix a cut with sea salt and fresh lemon juice.
  7. Cougars like to forgo diets after 12:00 am.
  8. Hannah likes to sabotage Bobby’s love prospects.
  9. Chef Adam should get a Post-It Note endorsement deal.
  10. No one has privacy.

Below Deck Mediterannean

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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