Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Bad Guys: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap
This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Erika revisited her past while writing her memoir; Dorit invited Teddi over for dinner, and her son Jagger referred to the women as bad guys.
Despite the fact Lisa Rinna suggested PK and Dorit allowed dinner guests to enjoy coke in their bathroom at parties, Rinna was the featured speaker at a birthday dinner in Dorit’s honor. “We may not have spoken four, three, or two months ago, maybe even last week, but I am here and there you go,” she explained with her hands waving back and forth. Dorit’s son Jagger arrived in a custom white tuxedo typically worn to a junior prom in Orlando. He declared Erika Jayne and Lisa Vanderpump were bad guys, essentially the Church of Scientology’s version of suppressive people. Everyone laughed, but Lisa Rinna considered kicking PK under the table.
Teddi turned to Erika and mentioned how displeased she was at the last cast dinner when Erika dismissed her during a conversation about her famous father. “You know your parents do not define you,” noted Erika who in later conversation with her co-author explained her own father abandoned her. “I just wanted you to know that it made me uncomfortable,” explained Teddi. “Great, fine, sorry,” replied Erika. Do what you want with it. It was like two statues having an eye fight.
Teddi’s husband came clean about his experience performing in a boy band in the early 90s. “He had pencil thin eyebrows,” explained his wife. Erika was overjoyed to meet a likeminded friend. How hard it was for her to find others who appreciated her desire to high kick and pose. “I am sorry, I don’t know how to refer to your profession,” said Teddi. “I am a performer,” replied Erika with the elation of someone about to get a mammogram.
Kyle and Mauricio fled their multi-million dollar come during renovations. Rather than purchase a modern home they decided to rip out the current floor and replace it with stones commonly seen at national monuments. They spent the next two weeks on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean, which afforded them the opportunity to keep their daughters imprisoned.
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Lisa Rinna and Teddi met for lunch. Lisa ate a piece of sushi and Teddi ate unsalted edamame. They laughed about the way preschools in Beverly Hills cost $35,000 a year, a purchase they lamented though Rinna carried designer bags nearly the same price. Teddi refused to make judgments about her new lunch date despite warnings from Vanderpump and Dorit about her instability. “I make my own decisions,” she explained. It was clear during lunch Lisa was suffering through a hot flash.
As one would do when inviting new friends over for dinner, Dorit splurged on $18,000 worth of fine china. “Let’s make sure we keep this receipt from PK,” Dorit said to her assistant Mollie while angling the invoice in view of the camera. As PK walked through the door and began searching though the empty boxes sweat began to pour off Mollie’s head. Mollie understood she would need to return those items the next day. Would she be able to keep the receipt on the back after running the dirty plate through the dishwasher?
They made small talk in the living room. Teddi opened up about her IVF struggles and her son’s health battle after birth. “When my first child was born he had a cone head,” replied PK. The others wondered when he would stop talking.
“I am a very good cook,” declared Dorit who spooned the contents of a store-bought hummus bucket into a brand new serving dish. “I love what she is making tonight,” added PK. He was unable to remember the name of the dinner made from cans of chickpeas and poured over minute rice. They all drank sips from the wine Teddi bought on the car ride over. “I wanted to just give you something we had in our cupboard,” said Teddi without an ounce of embarrassment. Dorit felt shame when PK poured champagne in glasses they bought and planned to return to Macy’s.
Overall their dinner was a bust with Dorit and PK asserting Lisa Rinna had mental problems. It was the wrong audience because Eddie and Teddi cared more about cardio and protein shakes than taking sides in someone else’s argument.
Lisa Rinna was surprised to hear Lisa Vanderpump was born in 1960. She had assumed she was born in the early 1900s. Teddi performed well at a horse show, which Dorit attended with open toe shoes.
Dorit asks Camille if she enjoys strap on devices.
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