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16 Best Moments From The Bachelorette Finale: Jordan

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On The Bachelorette finale JoJo decided whether Robby or Jordan would make her happy for the next three weeks.

The Top 16 moments from The Bachelorette finale.

WHEN JOJO CHOOSE JORDAN

  1. JoJo explained to her family that she refused to say I love you to any of the contestants until the moment of engagement. “Good,” said her mom. She had already endured at least one night of sobs after she was dumped on reality TV last season. “When you do say I love you make sure you have a bottle of champagne ready for me.” She worried they were too much alike; meaning they both spent most of their money on beauty products.
  2. Upon meeting her family Jordan brought them all hats he’d purchased from a Thailand flea market. “You guys cool with lice?”
  3. When her parents asked if he was willing to ask them for his permission to marry their daughter Jordan gulped. “Oh, so you guys are serious about this?” he asked.
  4. JoJo’s sister was a mute.
  5. What JoJo liked best about Robby was that he adored her, which was great in theory until you need to ask law enforcement to get involved.
  6. JoJo’s brothers had some valid concerns. Has this guy ever thought about marriage? Is he using this to get commercial opportunities? Would he be willing to be suggest me for television related opportunities to his agent?
  7. Jordan didn’t ask Jojo’s father for his blessing, but he did ask him if he could recommend a luxury car that had enough truck space to accommodate work out equipment.
  8. “I want you to make her the queen of your heart,” said JoJo’s mother. Jordan wondered if that were also lyrics to a 1980s love ballad by a hair band.
  9. On their last night in paradise Robby told JoJo he envisioned a future where she overcooked meatloaf. They would forget the timer or that at least one of the kids had possession of matches because they were overwhelmed with one another’s face. He gifted her with a stack of photos of them as a couple so she could admire his George Hamilton tan and over-whitened teeth.
  10. On Jordan’s last one-on-one date he tried to calm her fears by avoiding conversation about where they would live, if he would ever propose, and if he still has a membership on various dating sites. “I just worry you are not being honest with yourself?” she said as he checked out his hair in a mirror. “Who are you? Oh, right, yes, I’m into this,” he responded.
  11. Robby and Jordan picked out free engagement rings. Robby picked out the ring that would look most suitable for a position as First Lady of the Carnival Cruise Lines. Jordan chose one bright enough to say we might wed, but small enough to remind her that they would always live on a budget.
  12. Understanding that she would not be happy without having her father give his blessing Jordan called her parents landline to ask if it was okay asking their daughter for her hand in limited happy matrimony. “Hey, guys, it’s me, Hope I didn’t interrupt the season finale of Modern Family. Is it cool if I give your daughter some jewelry? Maybe we can hang out if I ever have a lay over in Texas?” Then he wrote her a note on stationery from the hotel. “Sorry I didn’t ask your dad to marry you. I guess this is the finale. Let’s make this work until I get a job offer on ESPN. Also, your boobs look great in an evening gown.”
  13. Robby wrote her a note too. “Hey, it’s me. If I have not already said it 172 times, I am in love with you. I look forward to all of our magazine covers. P.S. Can you recommend a good moisturizer?”
  14. Jojo pretended to apply makeup after her hair and makeup stylists left. Would she make the right decision?
  15. After a panic attack she advised Robbie that there was something missing in their relationship, namely sexual energy. She walked him to the back door of a sedan and then she wept.
  16. JoJo allowed Jordan to profess his fake love momentarily before advising him to propose. He obliged by getting down on his good knee in the suit he wiped down with a lint roller. They got engaged.

On the After The Rose ceremony they held each other and insisted they would be moving to Dallas. They just needed to pick up his bed in Nashville, because it was important to keep possession of a twin bed that was covered in a previous girlfriend’s hair.

Love exists, America!

The Bachelorette, Jojo Fletcher, Jordan, Finale, Recap

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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