Show Recaps

The Bachelor Recap: Fort Lauderdale

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This week on The Bachelor Arie shared romantic moments with the remaining lady contestants in a car museum, a bowling alley, and in a swamp in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. 

FORT LAUDERDALE

Most Important Moments From The Bachelor This Week

  1. “Fort Lauderdale is a beautiful place to fall in love,” said Arie of Broward County, Florida’s vacation hot spot, which has been known for hosting spring break for thousands of binge drinking college students. It was his second stop on a tour of the Earth’s most romantic destinations. (He had already stopped in South Lake Tahoe).  While Arie enjoyed his own master suite, the lady contestants were forced to share double beds and ride bicycles in formation.
  2. Maquel returned a week after her grandfather’s funeral while Chelsea reenacted the scene from Titanic on a rental yacht. The lady contestants watched her mount Arie on a jet ski, which brought their spirits down. Could they enjoy the warm Florida sun knowing a single mother was sitting on his junk?
  3. Chelsea’s older husband left her for another woman when their son was six-months-old, leaving her with just a trash bag full of belongings. She was grateful for having the irreplaceable moment of sitting with Arie in a car museum and that is something her loser former husband could never take away from her. Chelsea got a rose as some unnamed country singer sang a ballad about weakness and secrets.
  4. Twenty-two minutes into the program Arie licked a bowling ball. His lack of concern for the transmission of germs set the tone for a group date at a bowling alley.
  5. Krystal led her team in a prayer circle, which may have contributed to their stunning win. Despite Arie’s promise that the winning bowling league would get to spend time with him that evening, he made a last minute decision based on the fact he wanted to have sex with Bekah. Krystal, who many believed to be mildly unstable, warned the other contestants that the man they were all collectively dating was dishonest. As a result Krystal refused to leave the hotel suite that evening.
  6. Arie didn’t even notice one of the lady contestants was missing. “I was just trying to have some fun and bowl,” said Arie when the others explained Krystal’s meltdown. He returned to the suite to confront her. She felt slighted and noted she barely knew anything about him. He told her he would see her in a few days, which would give her plenty of time to enjoy free time in a robe imprisoned in a hotel room without books, music, or a television.
  7. Arie knew that there was little hope for a future with Bekah, but he still swallowed her face. He swallowed Becca’s face five minutes later. He swallowed Lauren B’s face fifteen minutes afterwards.
  8. Krystal showed up to the group cocktail hour despite Arie’s wishes and promptly left. Lauren B., a woman with no personality whose favorite color is burgundy, was given a rose.
  9. Arie spent the day with Tia discovering a swamp. “I love how you have not changed in this process,” said Arie. It should be noted they had only spend a collective 35 minutes together since they met. She asked if he felt like he was being led by a higher power, but his answer made her uncomfortable. He didn’t attend church. He considered himself the architect of his own destiny. She kept to herself that in her application she noted how important it was to be with someone who regularly attended Sunday services. Despite this she told him was falling in love with him. He thanked her and proceeded to waft his hands through her long strands of hair.
  10. At the cocktail party before the rose ceremony each person took the opportunity to explain to Krystal why she was a horrible person. “I am done,” said Krystal as she flung make believe glitter into the air. “Look, it’s our first fight,” she said optimistically to Arie. “It could be our last,” he replied.

Arie declined roses to Maquel, Ashley and Marikh. He kept crazy Krystal.

Also notable: I still believe something is wrong with Jenna. 

NEXT WEEK:

Unrequited love in Paris.

The Bachelor, Recap, Fort Lauderdale, Arie, Krystal

 

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

1 Comment

  1. Kimber

    January 30, 2018 at 9:12 am

    The way he fingers their hair… Gross. What do you think Jenna is really up to?

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