Show Recaps

The Bachelor Recap: About Bekah

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This week on The Bachelor Arie and the remaining contestants traveled to Lake Tahoe, and Bekah confessed she’s only 22 years old.

 

LAKE TAHOE

The prisoners were given notice they would be released from the lady contestant detention center. “This will begin your tour for love around the world,” Chris Harrison promised, “but your first trip will be to South Lake Tahoe.” They all privately worried they had not packed enough warm clothes and the ones they did were not figure flattering. “How will Arie really see me if I am wearing a poncho?”

SEINNE

Seinne, a woman presumably too smart to be on this show, was given the first date card. After a day spent in the crisp mountain air she confessed to Arie that she had never been convinced a woman that looks like her could ever star in her own fairytale. Arie grabbed the rose and assured her this could be the beginning of their love story, thereby setting the stage for her to become the next Bachelorette. Moments later an audience filled with extras who had never heard of the band Lanco wept as they watched a Bachelor they didn’t know dance with a woman they had never seen.

MAQUEL

Maquel, the divorced wedding photographer from Utah, left because her grandfather suddenly passed away. The other lady contestants sat quietly as she packed up her suitcase and left. No one hugged her goodbye.

WORMS

On a Fear Factor inspired group date Arie had the contestants believe they had to drink their own urine and then encouraged them to eat worms. A retired green beret combat commander and his wife reminded them that marriage is like being lost far from civilization. “Do you have survival skills?” he asked. They understood survival. “I am here without a flat iron!” screamed Marikh. Kendall, a young woman with dead eyes and an obsession for animal carcasses set herself apart by admitting she is someone who embraces new challenges. “I am open to moving to Scottsdale and living in your modest townhouse because I love adventure.” Arie overlooked how little they had in common because of their undeniable sexual chemistry.

KRYSTAL

As Kendall and Arie swallowed each other’s faces Krystal watched from a set of bushes. She had at one time been confident in the status of their non-relationship, but it was obviously beginning to unravel. “If these women think what they have is close to what we have,” she whispered in her crazy lady voice, “they are living in a state of delusion.” Things only got worse at the end of a map challenge when the contestants were given the opportunity to relax in a group Jacuzzi. Krystal was enraged when Arie (The Bachelor) had the audacity to sit in the middle of the women vying for the chance to become his lady bride. “Now you get how we have felt,” Tia and Caroline tried to explain to the San Diego based fitness coach.

QUALIFICATIONS

One of the contestants named Lauren spent some time alone with Arie by a fire. She asked earnestly for the qualifications of his potential bride. Basically Arie wants someone flexible and independent. TRANSLATION: Go with whatever I say and don’t bother me.

Later that night after Krystal shed piles of sympathy-seeking tears she privately seethed as Tia received the rose of the night. Tia had been forthright in her concerns about the way Arie was dry humping countless other contestants, which he respected because he’d also been a contestant on this show 15 years ago.

CHILD

Bekah and Arie were reunited in the woods. With their matching haircuts they galloped down a mountain trail. “I like Bekah because she’s so mature, she has a depth that other women I have dated have lacked.” (Maybe the other women he has dated were in high school?) After rubbing his shoulder screws in the same barrel Jacuzzi they have used for every hot tub date, Bekah wondered how much longer she could suppress information about her birth date. After admitting he’s basically become a hermit with a weak hip and a penchant for soft foods Bekah interrupted Arie. “Wait, do you know how old I am?” she asked. “I am 22 years old.” “Oh my god,” said Arie, running through his head all the life experiences he’s had in the last 14 years. “Have you ever dated someone my age?” he asked. “I have casually dated men around your age,” she replied. TRANSLATION: 24 years old. Was it worth investing another three and a half weeks and eight months post show in a child contestant who was probably still on her parent’s health insurance plan? He gave her a rose and then placed her in a baby Bjorn.

ROSE CEREMONY

Instead of wasting everyone’s time with a 2 hour cocktail party Arie was ready to cut to the chase. “Wait, can I talk to you for one minute?” pled Krystal. She was still using her pretend voice. Essentially they had the same exact conversation. She worried about the time they have not spent together and he kept envisioning their love making in the fantasy suite. Caroline and Brittany were dismissed.

NEXT WEEK:

The romance tour around the world continue in….. Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

The Bachelor, Arie, Bekah, Tahoe

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

2 Comments

  1. Patricia

    January 23, 2018 at 10:00 am

    Once again Kate put everything in perspective.Great article,loved it. We need more Kate Casey recaps in our lives to get through these troubled times. Gimme more please!

    • mm

      Kate

      January 23, 2018 at 10:22 am

      Thank you!

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