Show Recaps

The Bachelor Finale Recap: Are You Kidding Me?

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During The Bachelor’s epic finale disaster Arie Luyendyk proposed to a woman only to break it off weeks later while cameras filmed her reaction. The following are highlights from the three-hour television car crash, which culminated with Becca asking are you kidding me in a puddle of tears.


LOCATION: Cusco, Peru

  1. Arie’s family met with both women at a villa in Peru. While his mother liked both women, she worried her son would have to consistently assure Lauren of his feelings. She kept to herself her nagging concern that she barely spoke, often looked at the floor, and didn’t have any interest in the car racing industry. One twin brother looked into the distance while the other grasped his wife’s hand. It occurred to no one that Lauren looked eerily like the women he almost married seasons before on The Bachelorette or that she could be a distant cousin of his brother’s new wife. His sister Maida had the balls to ask if Arie and Lauren actually have in depth conversations. “Um…no. “It has been hard for her to be open,” said Arie. “That goes through my mind sometimes with her.” “Is there anything I should know about your family?” Lauren quietly asked as his relatives’ eyes all darted from one side of the villa to the other. “It’s always interesting in this family,” said Arie’s sister-in-law while gripping the seating cushion beneath her. The blood had drained from her already pale face. His father explained to Becca in his blunt Dutch way that he would be fine whomever his son chooses. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for a girl who gave up her job and her dignity to sign up for this show. His family privately overwhelming agreed that Becca was a better choice; she was more stable and an equal partner. Lauren, they explained, would essentially be a doormat.
  2. He told them both he loved them in his last moments with each finalist. He recognized Becca was a safe choice. She made him feel “comfortable” and was willing to move to Arizona. With Lauren he had more intense feelings, but he knew virtually nothing about her outside of her love for a curling iron and peasant tops. His decision was sealed when Becca handed him a scrapbook she made with resources available in the hotel lobby. He was moderately attracted to her, appreciated her family values, and noted she probably had a strong uterus.
  3. He proposed to Becca on a carpet in the middle of a hill. Neil Lane offered him a ring that he would never be able to afford to buy with the commission off of a townhouse.

LOCATION: Los Angeles, California

  1. Weeks later the couple reunited for one of their “happy couple weekends” in a rental home in Los Angeles, nor far from the production offices. As three cameramen dressed like ninjas set up behind them he explained to her that he had been struggling with his decision to ask her to marry him. “I know I made that commitment to you,” said Arie while the sound of someone urinating pulsated in the background, “but I have to follow my heart.” She wondered if he had remembered all the times he said he was unsure why he fell in love with Lauren in the first place. Didn’t he say having a conversation with her was like talking to a pile of laundry? “Are you kidding me?” she pleaded.
  2. Arie walked out the front door and promptly checked his nail bed as Becca softly wept inside. After realizing he needed to use the restroom he walked back inside and knocked softly on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?” he asked the women he’d just emotionally destroyed. “Why can’t you leave?” she asked. Isn’t there a racetrack you can go visit? Aren’t there properties in escrow?
  3. The problem, Arie explained, was that the longer he spent with Becca the less chance he had to make it work with Lauren. Maybe, just maybe, the girl he jilted on a mountain in Peru would forgive the fact his family called her a mute, he wrestled with whether they had anything in common, and had boned days before he asked another woman to marry him?
  4. Arie left the rental home in a funeral hearse, which was poetic considering the death of their relationship.

LOCATION: Studio in Los Angeles

  1. Becca whispered brutal as Chris Harrison awaited her reaction to watching one of the most painful emotional experiences of her life. She blew a kiss to the other contestants who had been kicked off the show weeks before her.
  2. Tomorrow on live television Arie will be able to ask Arie why he is a garbage person.

The Bachelor, Recap, Arie, Becca, Lauren, Are You Kidding Me?

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

1 Comment

  1. Lindsay

    March 6, 2018 at 10:51 am

    I wish Becca hadn’t given production/Arie the satisfaction of tears at the end as I think she handled the whole exchange like a champ and only let herself cry after she thought he had left – what did he think he had to add by coming back? He has the vocabulary of Lauren so they will hopefully be very happy and mute together.

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