Show Recaps

The Bachelor Recap: Bye, Liz

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This week on The Bachelor Nick hosted a wedding dress themed photography session, Corinne threw herself at Nick, and Liz has a hard time keeping their tryst private. 

GOODBYE LIZ

15 Most Important Moments From The Bachelor This Week

  1. Although the women had spent a collective 12 minutes with Nick they were all certain they would make his perfect wife, which made it all the more relevant when asked to participate in a wedding dress themed group date.
  2. Chris Harrison offered the contestants advice as they went into this week’s set of romantic challenges including use your time wisely. Translation: incase you get kicked off this show three days from now, you should dry hump him so he can remember you.
  3. An Anthony Kiedis impersonator and photographer offered the women a rack of horrendous gowns to complete their wedding catalog look.
  4. Corrine was encouraged by her Pamela Anderson inspired bikini dress, but felt immediate concern that Nick would be more interested in Brittany because she was topless, had a body covered in baby oil, and Blue Lagoon hair gently covering her areolas. As Nick became more inebriated he offered himself physically to the contestants who were forced to watch their housemates make out with their mutual boyfriend from a patio love seat. Corinne wrapped up the date by releasing her bikini top, which secured her a long stemmed flower and a homecoming court inspired car service home.
  5. The other contestants wore sweatpants and zit cream back at mansion. Danielle the nurse who dresses like it is still 1992 received the first one-on-one date, which diminished the dreams of the doula Liz who kept the fact she had already boned him secret. “I am happy for her,” she said through gritted teeth.
  6. Alexis the dolphin trainer didn’t get a chance to tell Nick where she lives because Corinne vagina blocked her.
  7. Taylor the mental health expert explained to Nick she had left a career she had not yet started to appear on a reality show. Later she would put her degree to practice while trying to determine Corinne’s various personality disorders.
  8. Corinne celebrated receiving a red rose by passing out mouth open in one of the mansion’s bunk beds. The others began to doubt Nick’s intensions. Maybe he hasn’t met someone on three different seasons of this show because he just wants to get in someone’s pants?
  9. Liz admitted to Christen she banged Nick at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. “He asked me for my number and I said no, which is why I am here now.”
  10. Danielle and Nick ate dinner in an alley decorated with candles. She explained to him that her fiancé of three months overdosed on drugs. Nick held her hand despite not understanding why she couldn’t have seen at least one red flag while dating.
  11. Liz was hopeful she would clean the slate with Nick during a group date at a museum, which featured couples performing melodramatic break-ups in front of strangers. Nothing brings potential life partners together like watching other people rip each other apart emotionally! He barely understood Katrina, was bored by Astrid and the girl with a nose ring, zoned out mid-conversation with Christen, and got slapped by Josephine. Liz took the opportunity to air their dirty laundry by explaining their history before the women she had grown to love-hate.
  12. Nick pretended he was surprised when one of the contestants admitted she dated a woman.
  13. Nick almost shat his pants when Christen advised him she was aware he and Liz banged. He admitted to her he worried Liz was only a participant on the show because she wanted to leave behind her career delivering babies. He did not, however, admit that he was only a participant on his own show because he wanted to be on a reality show.
  14. Liz explained she never called Nick because she hates the telephone. Nick asked her to leave. He told the rest of the group date participants she was let go because he had already took her for a joy ride.
  15. Alexis and Liz celebrated the one-year anniversary of her breast implants.

NEXT WEEK:

Everyone starts to doubt whether Nick is in this for the right reasons.

The bachelor, Nick, Liz, Corrine,

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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