90-Day Fiance

90 Day Fiance Recap: Meet The Parents

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This week on 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days the Americans had to meet the parents. This is what happened. 

MEET THE PARENTS

DARCEY AND JESSE

  • Cameras greeted Darcey and Jesse at the foot of his bed the morning after their first night together. They assured the pervy producer that they did in fact have sexual chemistry, something they had wondered about while living 4,000 miles from one another.
  • Jesse was excited to introduce Darcey to his mother, his physical twin who wore braid extensions like the designer Betsy Johnson and openly admitted she disliked Americans. She and her new husband Dave lived in a mini fairy house in the suburbs of Amsterdam. Darcey knew that it would be awkward since his mother was nearly the same age and she was practically a stranger from a foreign country, “I forgot my rings,” Darcey sighed during the car ride. She wanted to wear the costume ring she’d purchased from Claire’s Boutique to make certain everyone knew she was near engagement. Jesse seemed surprised. Why would she assume after spending six weeks in his apartment that he would buy her a real engagement ring?
  • As they sat down to dinner Darcey  shared how she planned on having Jesse’s baby, how she had envisioned a small boy whom she had already named, and that she looked forward to Jesse moving to the United States to live with her two daughters he had yet to meet. “Oh, wow,” Jesse responded.
  • Jesse’s stepfather Dave, a sprightly man with a topknot, various piercings, missing teeth, and sheets for clothing was open about his concerns. “You are not on his level,” he explained as Darcey sat with tear filled eyes in front of a barely eaten bowl of homemade soup. Jesse sat stone faced, refusing to see that it was his obligation to explain to his mother and her weird husband that she was spectacular in her own right. “What is in it for him? Dave asked a quiet Darcey. “No one is perfect,” was Jesse’s sad reply.
  • During the car ride home Darcey hoped Jesse would comfort her with words of encouragement. “I hope you didn’t get it the wrong way,” said Jesse about his family’s harsh perspective. She noted that if things didn’t work out that she would be happy for him, which confused him. “What do you mean if we don’t need up together?” he asked, with his waxed and styled furrowed brows.

PAUL AND KARINE

  • After a homecoming court inspired truck ride Paul was surprised by the state of Karine’s parent’s home. He had not expected it to be so open, without structurally sound walls and insulation. “These are my parents,” she explained through hand gestures. Her father, a retired Brazilian cop, was not thrilled with his daughter’s new foreign boyfriend. How was he supposed to communicate with someone who does not speak their language? “How I am I supposed to know what the mute wants?” he asked.
  • After looking at Karine’s bedroom decorated with stuffed animals nailed to the wall he asked her if she would like to spend the night at his motel. “You will have to ask my father?” she replied.
  • Paul was unaware that in Brazil if you stay at a motel it’s probably because you plan on having sex with a hooker.
  • “My bad,” Paul explained via a translator app, “I just plan on taking to your daughter (or at least trying to) while cuddling under a mosquito tent.” Her father painfully agreed.
  • Back at the hotel Karine was surprised Paul wanted to take things slow. He wanted to make sure she was without a sexually transmitted disease or someone else’s fetus growing inside her lady cavity. “I know I chose you from a Latin American dating app despite the fact we don’t speak the same language and that I have arrived in your country with several trunks filled with medical supplies and possibly a body, but we should take things slow.”
  • He made up for not boning her by offering her gifts including more stuffed animals, chocolates, and his autographed mugshot.
  • They held each other in the darkness with only the light of the translator app. (Side note: They should have Paul endorse this app for extra cash so he can get out of this country).

CORTNEY

  • Cortney packed for her trip to Spain to see her make believe boyfriend Antonio. “I know we have never actually spoken, but I plan on marrying him,” she explained to her low-energy parents. She packed American candy and a red dress that reminded her of the salsa dancing emoji.
  • “Oh, jeez, Cortney, is this a good idea?” they asked their child before she flew to a foreign country to meet a stranger. “She’s a smart girl,” they reasoned with their monotone voices.
  • Cortney admitted to her parents that Antonio was likely an erotic model based on the Internet research her friends had done the night before. “Oh, wow,” said her mom stone faced. She also planned to share a hotel with him, but assured her parents he would be willing to sleep on the floor or on a couch. He had apparently agreed to those terms via text.

PATRICK AND MYRIAM

  • Patrick, an MMA fighter and DJ from Lexington, Kentucky met his Parisian girlfriend Myriam online. After failed relationships in the United States he figured a foreign woman would have a better set of moral values.
  • Although she was not conservative, Myriam was Muslim and he wondered if her family would accept a non-Muslim American with a child from a previous relationship. In fact he wondered if she shared the information with her parents at all.
  • Cameo, the mother of Patrick’s daughter and close friend, worried this was an unsavory situation for Patrick. “Why wouldn’t she tell her family?” she wondered.
  • Patrick and Cameo should probably get back together at the end of this show.

NEXT WEEK:

Cortney meets Antonio and Patrick meets Myriam.

90 Day Fiance, Before the 90 Days, Meet The Parents, Darcey, Jesse, Paul, Karine

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

3 Comments

  1. Lindsay

    August 29, 2017 at 11:14 am

    The most frightening thing about Darcey and Jesse’s 18 year age gap is that he is appearing to be far more mature than her!

    Karine is actually very naturally beautiful in person and I can’t wait for Paul to confess his (sordid?) past to her.

    Cortney – how could this possibly end well? every pic she has is a professional “modeling” shot and he wont talk to her on facetime? 9am eastern = 3pm in Spain (approx) this has to be a catfish

    Patrick is a cutie and seems like a great dad but a hard package to sell to a Muslim family

  2. Crystal

    September 2, 2017 at 7:50 pm

    So right on and I’m dying laughing…her low energy parents! Like I feel like this is a regular occurrence for her…

  3. Jackie

    October 19, 2017 at 8:48 am

    When Darcy and Jesse opened the gate to his parent’s house and it looked like Hobby Lobby exploded I almost choked on my coffee. THEN when we saw his parents? Suddenly everything made sense with his rigidity. I just can’t with these two. Between her hair and nails and his eyebrows I am 100% scared and intrigued.

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