90-Day Fiance

90 Day Fiancé Recap: Crossing The Line

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This week on 90 Day Fiancé Andrei revealed the status of his Visa, Molly worried Luis was crossing a line with her daughter Olivia, Azan and Nicole discussed finances, Annie worried about David’s drinking, and Evelyn and David struggled with wedding costs. 

CROSSING THE LINE

ELIZABETH AND ANDREI

Andrei was inexplicably given a Visa. Somehow he was able to convince a United States Citizenship and Immigration Services officer that he was a normal person. It was even a shock to Elizabeth who had spent the time waiting chewing on her polished fingernails and reapplying her matte lipstick. She was relieved, though still harbored obvious concern her family would think he was a controlling lunatic who was using her to gain entry into the United States of America. “Meeting your family is not my propriety,” said Andrei. Terrific, she thought. Between not wanting her to spend time in any establishment after hours that served alcoholic beverages, seldom letting her speak her own mind, having zero appreciation for the role of women in American culture, and finding no interest in communicating with her extended family things were really off to a great start.

DAVID AND ANNIE

David, it turns out, was a bit of a lush. Few things pleased David more than a linen tunic and a Michelob in a beer koozie. Friend and bank account Chris worried David was throwing back a few too many. “Maybe we can go back and you can get some sleep?” he suggested. David, however, preferred to dance through the streets like a backup dancer on the Wilson Phillips tour. Annie sat in her reception gown and begged him to cut back on the brewskis unless she wouldn’t go with him to the United States. “Just kidding,” she said later through laughter, “of course I go to United States. No way I stay here.”

The next day David called his daughter Ashley, a young woman who had only spoken to him a few times since he temporarily retired to a foreign country with hopes of finding a subservient wife. “Is this Annie you speak about a real person?” she asked. He rushed to find her visual proof. David reminded Annie before she was within sight that it would be best if they pretended she was just someone he was casually dating. “Ashley will get mad if I admit we are getting married,” he oddly explained. David grew anxious when Annie showed off her newly manicured hand with a sparkling engagement ring. “Put it away!” he motioned with his lips. “Can you do my nails?” Ashley asked. She assumed everyone from Thailand was a manicurist.

JOSH AND AIKA

During Aika’s second day in the United States Josh took her on a tour of the grocery store. “Your onions are so big!” she exclaimed while holding them in front of her breasts. On their way home they made a pit stop at a “modeling agency” so she could assess her future as a 36 year-old fashion model with glued on eyelashes, stone washed jeans, and Halloween contact lenses. “Go natural,” Josh advised her. He wanted nothing more in life than a successful television installation business and a trophy wife with plastic heels and waist length hair. Aika had no interest.

At first the old woman running the “modeling agency” had some concerns. Could they use Aika for commercial jobs if she could barely speak the language? Are there companies seeking a woman with a navel piercing, large breasts, and dry hair in their advertisements? The old lady turned to her beat staff members to get their assessment. “Rose Angel, what do you think?” the old woman asked the bored millennial at the end of the couch. “I don’t know,” she replied with a grunt. “Let me give it to you straight,” said the old woman. “We can work together if you don’t touch your fanny,” she explained. “Does it matter than I plan on getting pregnant in two years?” Aika inquired. “Oh, no that’s a deal breaker,” said the camera operator and the owner. The fact that she was too old, could not read a script, and was too short they could overlook, but a potential fetus in the future they could not.

MOLLY AND LUIS

Luis proposed to Molly on a man made beach in the middle of her suburban Georgia town. He knelt down on one knee and presented her with a tinker ring he had purchased on deep discount at the Zales of the Dominican Republic. She said yes despite her oldest daughter’s ongoing protestations. “Why are you in a rush?” she asked. Luis’ response to her incredibly astute observation was to suggest she get her own boyfriend. “Whatever you do with your body is fine,” said the man Molly had assumed would be their father figure despite only knowing him for two weeks. When Olivia shared this development with her mom she was understandably concerned. She was not, however, willing to end things entirely.

NICOLE AND AZAN

Azan took Nicole on a tour of an outside market, a place with fresh fruits and vegetables, things she had never seen before. “I only eat things that come out of a can or a bag from the frozen food section,” she explained. Later that day Azan’s aunt offered Nicole a plate of Sheep’s eyeballs and brains, which caused her great pains to swallow. His family worried Nicole would never prepare him healthy foods, like Sheep intestines and broiled testicules.

Later that week after a camel ride and sand bathing Azan noted how hard it was to be a parent, a duty he had barely experienced. “Imagine this with a job,” noted Nicole, who had yet to identify her specific profession. He was gracious for all the money she had been funneling him since she did not want him to actually have a job. A job would distract him from constantly texting her.

EVELYN AND DAVID

It was a great surprise to Evelyn and David the cost of a wedding. Though David had a degree in something and a minor in something else he was still without a job. Evelyn’s part-time career as a French and music teacher made her a few marbles. They had to cut corner on costs, and the first sacrifice was a cake for their wedding guests. “Let’s get the wedding party some cake,” suggested Evelyn. A cake was the least important component of her wedding, a milestone she had been planning her entire life (she’s 18). They were still unable to come to some agreement on the groomsman’s attire. Evelyn wanted the foreigners to wear classic tuxedos, and David preferred his friends save on travel costs and instead stand beside him in their own pants and t-shirts.

“I am concerned we keep arguing about small things,” said Evelyn. “What does this mean for our future?” she wondered. Evidently the pastoral staff at the cult she was raised in did not do an adequate job explaining the reality of a marital union.

Crossing The Line, 90 Day Fiancé, Recap, Molly and Luis

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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