90-Day Fiance

90 Day Fiance Recap: Meet Cortney

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This week on 90 Day Fiancé: Before 90 Days Darcey worried Jesse might have a controlling side, Sean brought underwear for Abby, Paul met Karine, and Cortney explained who she met a man who might be a porn star online. 

MEET COURTNEY

DARCEY AND JESSE

Five minutes after she landed in Amsterdam, Darcey turned to Jesse and let him know she felt like she was home. It was unknown how she planned to tell her two daughters, whom she left back in Connecticut that they would need to pack up their things and spend the remainder of the school year living with a stranger in a studio apartment in the Netherlands. Once they arrived at his apartment he politely asked if he could blindfold her so that she would be surprised upon entering a 300 square foot living space decorated like a nightclub. “Oh, look, there are balloons,” she said of the deflated children’s party decorations situated around the bed. “Look, I got new satin sheets,” he told her because she had complained that cotton ones caused her hair to frizz. She looked at the faux restaurant candles and wondered where she would place her mounds of luggage. “I know you told me to bring just one suitcase,” she whined, “but I didn’t know what to pack. Maybe I can keep them behind the curtains?” Jesse clenched his fists and walked towards the strobe light in the kitchen. He wondered how much money she would lose if she changed her flight back home.

CHAOTIC

Though he was sexually attracted to Darcey he wondered if the way she enjoyed living in chaos was cultural or just her personality. He was so used to living in a box confined by military regulations and personal training goals. On their first day together he disallowed her from taking a nap and forced her to recreate a scene from the Tour de France around Amsterdam. “Come on,” he screamed while quickly peddling down a sidewalk and then quickly down an alley. He alerted her that her slow bike ride only helped her to burn 55 calories. “Uh, babe, I don’t know where I am going,” she screamed back. She tried not to let her hair extensions get wound in the bike spokes. He immediately worried she was already expecting an engagement, which was a realistic concern given the fact she admitted she wore a costume jewelry ring and band and she inquired about the wedding rates at a local park.

SOBER

“We are more sober,” he explained of the Dutch, “and Americans tend to exaggerate.” For example, a pretty shitty plate of vegetables drizzled in olive oil was the best meal they have ever had. Dutch women were also typically less maintenance. Keeping Up With the Kardashians had yet to infiltrate their culture because women rarely got lip or butt injections, they applied mascara to their own eyelashes, and they didn’t travel with a bag filled with foundation and highlighter sticks. “I like it better when you wear no makeup,” he told her their first night in bed offering to wipe her face. “O—kay,” she replied, “I just wanted to look cute before we had our first moment.” In other words, she wanted to look like the person in all the photos she had sent him and not like a 42 year-old whose body had given birth to two kids. She compromised by leaving on her fake lashes and making sure the lights were kept on a dimmer.

The next day after she blistered her feet in stilettos on a cobble stone street she asked why he had not already changed his Facebook status. “Almost all of my friends know who you are,” he replied. “He’s still a little bit of a mystery,” said Darcey, especially since she had not yet had the opportunity to go through things while he was at work.

SEAN

Abby was thrilled Sean had come to Haiti, not because she necessarily loved him, but because he brought for her 190 pairs of underwear and lounge pants she could resell for profit. “I have already spent $12,000 on this relationship,” he explained though Abby was technically also seeing another man suffering through a midlife crisis. He gave her a computer and iPad so that she would be able to take care of her bills (and those of her parents and siblings and friends). “It’s raining panties,” she said as she threw the lingerie he’d lugged through several airports for her in the air.

PAUL

Paul sat quietly with his 4 trunks of medical supplies and camping gear worried Karine would not come to meet him. She had spent the moments before his arrival assuring her mother that the blonde haired blue eyed man she’d met via a Latin American dating app would not come back to their hut and murder them. Upon their first site she collapsed into his skinny arms and they both searched for words in the same language to explain their joy. Karine’s sister introduced herself to Paul and he nodded his head at her. Later they used his cell phone, which was rapidly running out of battery, to discuss plans for a pickup drive to take them back to visit her family.

CORTNEY

Cortney, a 26-year-old woman from Orlando had long been tired of the dating scene in Orlando, home to thousands of former theater actors working as Disney princes and backup dancers. She decided to spend her 25th year traveling the world after working two and a half brutal years in the American workforce. “Other cultures have deeper family values,” she explained, which skimmed over the fact many cultures live in oppressive conditions. The man she had been only texting for the last few months appeared in photos to look like a Spanish fashion model. “It’s weird,” she noted to her parents and two friends, “every time I have asked to do FaceTime or Skype he’s had plans and he’s always working.” Cortney’s Indian friend pulled her aside and reminded her of the time she was catfished by a man living in India. “Remember when you showed me his picture and I told you he was actually an actor in Bollywood?” “Oh, yeah, there was that,” she answered back.

Despite having no proof of Antonio’s true identity she pressed forward with plans to fly to Spain to meet the man she’d already considered her future husband.

NEXT WEEK:

Abby can’t remember Sean’s name.

90 Day Fiance, Before 90 Days, Meet Cortney

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

4 Comments

  1. SiteWife

    August 21, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Darcey is a 42 year old, no amount of spackal on layers of makeup, big fake eyelashes and bad extensions is going to hide that. She wears the most inappropriate clothes & shoes 👠 trying to look hip. Sorry not Sorry. Truth hurts.
    Paul and his ever growing trucks that seem to be getting heavier finally made it to her “shack” as he called her home….then he worried about how her dad would feel about him as he was literally on her doorstep. Uh a little late now . For all the money he spent shipping those huge containers, I think I would have spent a little money and took a crash course on Portuguese language.
    Abby seemed thrilled with her computer, IPad, and 190 pairs of panties Ow it’s time to pay the piper ….as Sean so bluntly put it “I’ve spent $12,000 on you as he hugged her to him on the bed”
    Crazy Orlando chick Courtney if she was my child and had already been catfished once I think I would be more concerned with her taking off to Spain to see a stranger, but no Mom was like look at the fabulous dip I made and we ate it with pretzels Woohoo.

    • Candee

      September 10, 2017 at 7:48 am

      Everything you wrote, was exactly what I was thinking as I watched also. I hope the best for people, but there are steps leading to reality outcomes. Red flags that give people warnings. I was raised by logical, common sense parents. Reality is one thing. Fantasy is another. Too many people in dating, want the immediate excitement, to make their lives more exciting now. Don’t have patience to be logical and responsible.

  2. Jaime

    August 24, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    I am living for your recaps of this show- This show is a treasure!!

  3. Ellen

    August 29, 2017 at 11:57 am

    does cortney look familiar? i think she did a stint on dating naked
    . i may be wrong on which show shes been on but im almost positive this is not her first rodeo

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