90-Day Fiance

Evelyn The Terrible: 90 Day Fiancé Recap

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This week on 90 Day Fiancé Nicole and Azan had a big fight; Evelyn wanted to remain in Claremont, and Luis enjoyed the strip club. 

OUT OF NOWHERE

MOLLY AND LUIS

Molly’s father refused to answer her calls. He was unhappy with her plans to move forward with a marital union with Luis, and for her poor choice in nail color. As her brother sat on her pleather couch he tried to reason why their father had placed her on a do-not-call list. “He just doesn’t know you,” he explained to the foreigner who had been living in Molly’s house for two months. “He doesn’t care about you and your life,” Luis told Molly. “If your father love you then happy he be for you and happy.” Even the production had no idea what he was talking about.

As Molly’s hairdresser styled her hair to mirror his own she lamented to him the fact Luis had grown home sick and wouldn’t blame him if he said that he would like to return home. During a long car ride, past every CVS Pharmacy in the county they argued about what Luis deemed as “her wedding.” He complained about having to be a stepparent to a 6-year old who never stopped talking and the way their social life had changed since he moved to her home. He expected their life to carry on as it did when she visited the Dominican Republic, but in Georgia she wasn’t on vacation. He thought he would move into her home in the United States and they would still go to the discotheque, eat meals at a buffet, ad wear plastic bracelets so they could drink by the pool bar. “I love my single life,” he whispered to the car window.

Molly’s bachelorette party was spent at Lips, Georgia’s most celebrated drag queen establishment. After squatting on all fours and gulping a shot glass from the floor she looked forward to returning home to Luis’ arms. At the same time Luis and Molly’s brothers were celebrating his new potential citizenship and marriage at Magic City, Georgia’s least celebrated strip joint. “This is an amazing party,” said Luis as he threw one-dollar bills at a woman named Trixie. He explained how in the Dominican Republic strippers typically enjoy touching your junk. He didn’t show up to the house by curfew, which disappointed Molly. It was not the first or last time she would be disappointed.

ANNIE AND DAVID

Annie and David settled in nicely into Chris and Nikki’s home. While sitting in their hot tub David toasted the couple for letting them squat in their house until he was back on his feet, but his slurring confused his young bride. It reminded her of all the times David tripped outside bars in Thailand and how he was breakdancing at their wedding reception in the middle of the street. “You need to say something, girl,” said Nikki’s brother Antonio, an unverified therapist with the TLC Network. “I think the tacos are burning,” said David. “I think your tacos are burning,” Antonio yelled back. “You alright, man?” asked Chris. “Do you think you can commit to not drink?” David looked at his swollen feet dangling in the bubbles and admitted he could not.

After the most depressing motivational speech, Annie began to weep as she stood beside the kitchen island. David entered through the screen door and whispered to Antonio that he would happily engage in a sequence from a Bruce Lee movie. It did not go well, even despite calling Antonio a brother he loved deeply. The he suggested Antonio was in love with his brother-in-law. “You are young and vibrant. Period. Point blank,” yelled Antonio. Annie was confident they could work through this colossal disaster.

The following day David apologized to Annie for over drinking. “I didn’t even want to drink,” he explained after suggesting everyone else was intoxicated too. They walked the streets of West Hollywood, his medallion swinging in the wind. They made a pit stop at a sex toy palace. Annie seemed surprisingly at home.

 

ELIZABETH AND ANDREI

After weeks of watching their younger sister turn into a shell of her old self, Elizabeth’s sisters watched the caveman she was about to marry sip on a Midori sour. They grew concerned when Andrei noted Elizabeth should have a curfew and that a trip to Las Vegas or in a cruise for her bachelorette party was off limits. “In Ireland I worked at a bar as a bouncer, so I know what happens,” he explained. “This is a ticking time bomb,” noted her sister Becky. They all agreed she was suppressing her personality and that after a few weeks sharing a confined space she would unleash the ball buster she had been since birth.

A few days later they tried to convince Elizabeth to celebrate her upcoming wedding in a Miami nightclub. “We will help you lie to him,” they tried to reason. “I am older now,” Elizabeth explained of her change in attitude. Months before she met Andrei on a foreign matchmaking sight she would have done high kicks at the thought of wearing a penis on a sun visor, wearing a bachelorette sash at a seedy bar, or allowing a body-oiled covered fireman to give her lap dances in a motel room that smelled like cigarette ash and lube.

“We are married women and we are telling you to take advantage of this last night,” they screamed. “TRUST US,” they continued, “after this it is all down hill.” Elizabeth ran through situations in her head. How would she explain her bachelorette weekend to Andrei? Could she tell him it would be spent knitting sweaters? Would he believe it if she suggested it would be spent volunteering at a soup kitchen? What would he believe?

EVELYN AND DAVID

Evelyn hoped to convince David that Claremont, New Hampshire was a thriving metropolis with majestic landscapes by forcing him to go apple picking. “Can you believe these rolling hills?” she asked. “Go to Switzerland,” he replied. Evelyn noted she had already seen it, but he explained eating at a sandwich shop in the airport did not qualify. Their chaperone Solomon sat in silence as he realized the band would suffer if Evelyn and David moved several states away.

Evelyn’s family wanted David to feel at home, so they took him to a Mexican restaurant despite the fact he is actually from Spain. They all argued about the reasons he should accept living in a town of 14,000 people, which according to David is filled with abandoned buildings. “I just don’t understand why you would want to take my only sibling away from me,” said Evelyn’s brother. David calmly explained he had also left his sibling behind, and on another continent nonetheless because he was an adult and believed it was important to have more than one friend in the world.

NICOLE AND AZAN

When the camera crew arrived Nicole and Azan were already arguing. “You don’t talk,” said Nicole. She followed him to a shuttle and screamed about disrespect as he closed his eyes and imagined himself trying out leather coats. He just wanted to be alone, but Nicole was most comfortable when she was suffocating someone. She followed him up a stairwell and back through the same living room where she left her daughter alone with relatives who did not speak her language. “I hate everything!” she screamed in the shuttle.

JOSH AND AIKA

Joe was a good friend to Josh. He stood beside him through all of his previous marriages, the ups and downs of his stereo equipment installation career, and the Winger reunion concert tours of the late 90s. He could not understand why Josh was willing to pay the costs associated with bringing a woman he met online to his country and into one of the rooms he shared with three other roommates. “Dude, you’ve spent so much money on this girl,” said Joe. Aika was unhappy with the hand-me down engagement ring, for the modeling agency interviews, and for the lack of luxury bags she expected to receive upon her visit. She had even confessed she’d thought about going home, which to Joe seemed like an obvious red flag. “Just because she says she wants to go back to the Philippines doesn’t mean she wants to go back to Thailand,” said Josh. “No, I am pretty sure that means she wants to go back to the Philippines,” replied Joe. It was like talking to a brick wall.

The following day Joe took Aika to a gun range so he would surmise whether Aika was in this opportunity for love or for accessories. He was surprised she had perfect aim, better than candidates at the police academy. As Josh stood behind a wall of rifles he explained his concerns about their relationships. “I took you here to a facility filled with firearms to tell you that this woman is dangerous.” Neither Aika nor Josh took his concerns to heart. “I don’t know why he has concerns,” said Aika as Josh’s one eyeball looked at the producer and the other at the wall.

NEXT WEEK:

Azan considers calling off the wedding, Josh admits he got a vasectomy, David gets kicked out off Chris’ house, and Evelyn discusses sex.

90 Day Fiancé Recap, Evelyn, Molly, Luis, David

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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