Why We Need Girls Night Out: A Letter To Men
I am writing this letter so you can understand the importance of a girls night out.
The woman in your life has been stuck all week in a cubicle with horrible fluorescent lighting. She has spent 60% of the week wearing a sling carrying around a 17 pound baby like a human kangaroo. She cooked 12 meals, ran 8 miles, drove in 4 hours of traffic, and probably folded 55 loads of laundry. She interviewed a chief financial officer candidate, spoke with her board, and sat on a plane to a city without healthy restaurant options and hotels without good Wi-Fi. She answered 200 emails, wrote and rewrote 2 power point presentations, coordinated 3 after school schedules, sat through 2 baseball games, and picked up your dry cleaning. She also made time to get a pap smear, made sure her vagina and eyebrows were waxed, the kitchen was stocked with food, and all of the bills paid. Don’t you think she deserves to sit with her friends in a booth and eat some nachos?
This is an opportunity of mutual benefit. Your thoughtful consideration for her need to spend time with her friends will be reciprocated without objections or criticisms. We get it; sometimes you need to get away from us too. Please, go out and talk about sports center or the cost benefits of a new set of tires with your bros. They can withstand two hours of drinking high-calorie beer and eating high-fat chicken wings. Us? Not so much. We want to complain about our in-laws, discuss the pros and cons of getting an IUD, and argue about whether there should be a remake of the movie Xanadu. You guys? Not so much either.
We need a gender-exclusive night where we can clear our heads and get back our mojo. For example:
- Do you want to share a salad, grilled salmon, and a bottle of sauvignon blanc? Because they do.
- You can offer nothing to a conversation about whether Tori Spelling will ever leave Dean McDermott.
- You probably can’t offer useful insight on childbirth, breast pumps, menstrual cycles, or bras to lift saggy boobs.
- We would like the opportunity to enjoy a margarita without worrying someone might jump off the staircase, electrocute themselves, or spill a bag of beans all over the pantry floor.
- Sometimes it’s nice to remember what it was like when we were younger and had less responsibilities and better skin.
- We would like the freedom to cry in the middle of a restaurant about our hormonal issues and not have the person sitting across from us roll their eyes and ask for the check.
- They actually want to hear our opinions about the new cast of Real Housewives of Dallas.
Here’s the good news. We will return home and be excited to see you. Had we not left we would be sitting beside you on the couch in a baggy t-shirt, face mask, retainer, and greasy hair. We will have had time to assess what it is like to be a woman looking for a potential life partner in a restaurant that turns into a nightclub after 10:30. A night away will relax the mind, produce endorphins and make us happy to come home to you. You know who will get some action in the bedroom? You will, partner.
So lay off when we say Thursday night will be spent with our lady friends. Got it?
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