8 Questions Kate Middleton Would Probably Never Answer

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While Kate Middleton is visiting New York I’d like the opportunity to ask her a few questions. I know the British press tends to be “respectful” and ask polite questions in keeping with the protocol of the British monarchy, but since she’s in America perhaps she would be willing to let loose a little, that is in between the moments she wants to barf from morning sickness. (Lord knows I have experienced that nightmare).

Here’s what I am thinking:

  1. Does the Queen make you wear those pantyhose? When you wear them do you feel like you are trapped in a nylon prison? How do you handle the crotch sweat?
  2. What would happen if you and the Prince held hands in public? Would an alarm system sound?
  3. When you stay with the Queen in her country home do you and William still get it on in the guest quarters? Or do you feel like you are in straight jackets? Are the beds creaky?
  4. How do you keep herself awake when you are forced to sit through speeches? Can you sleep with your eyes open? 
  5. How long did the never-look-at-a-photographer-in-the-eye training take?
  6. Does anyone in your life ever ask you to “cut the Princess shit?”
  7. Do you get headaches from wearing tiaras?
  8. Do you ever want to punch Camilla?

I think she’d tell me.


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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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