Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Are you serious with this?
I guess I should have expected some sort of shit show after you peddled that Gosselin show for years. It’s not exactly uplifting to watch a miserable couple in central Pennsylvania figure out how to raise their eight kids on a budget set by a 28 year-old balding man and a fame hungry she-devil. I went cold turkey after the show where she got a free stomach stapling.
I understand your show Toddler & Tiaras is a big hit too, but after seeing commercials with a three year old dressed like the hooker in Pretty Women I thought better of myself. There’s just something disheartening about a 23 year-old named Crystal spray tanning her toddler, spackling her with Mac makeup, and then forcing her child who still wear pull-ups into an evening gown so a panel of judges can critique them on personality and talent. You know what kind of talent a three-year old has? Going to the bathroom without a toilet insert. Maybe instead of spending eleven hours perfecting their child’s dance routine to Salt and Pepa’s “Push It” they could spend that time reading a couple books or running through some flash cards? Just an idea.
So I am guessing you saw some sort of potential star in this Honey Boo Boo. She seems like a sweet gal, but I’m a little worried about her future. Are you concerned at all that she subsides on a diet of funions, corn nuts, and spaghetti smothered in melted Country Crock and ketchup? That perhaps it isn’t healthy for her family to be playing an old fashioned round of smell my stank breath? Maybe it is not a good idea that she’s raised by a mother who tells her siblings that it is okay to reserve brushing your teeth for major holidays? It is generally a good idea to wear shoes, especially when spending your afternoon walking the aisles of a gas station mini mart?
I get it. It’s good for ratings. Everyone loves a good story about an All-American family. But is this a good way for the rest of the world to see us? Can’t we find a family who doesn’t have to force their 17-year old pregnant daughter to change her underwear and sweatpants because she peed on the couch? Maybe a family who spends their extra money on educational materials and not on cases of mayonnaise and barbeque sauce?
Because at this point I don’t know where you can go from here.
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