There comes a point in every adult’s life where you come to the sad realization that you’ve become somewhat of a loser. With work, children, and a lower alcohol tolerance you’ve become a shadow of your once fun and spontaneous self. Plus it’s pretty hard to stay out late and rage when you have a 7:30 conference call the following morning and the possibility of a vomiting child awaiting you at home. Trust me, I miss those days. I know this is hard to believe, but I was a blast in the old days. You wanted someone to set the night on fire? I was your lady. But things have sadly changed. Sometimes after a cocktail I start feeling ambitious. All of a sudden I am making plans in my mind to meet up with old friends, staying out late, and maybe even planning a trip. But ten minutes later, when the vodka has settled and the iced tea has watered down my buzz I remember I am old, that my hip is starting to act up, and I usually go to bed before 10:00.
But apparently Pamela Anderson is not my peeps. She didn’t get the memo that when you are 45 years old and the mother of two impressionable children that it might not be a good idea to:
1. Subside on a diet rich in egg whites and pills.
2. That though vodka is clear, it does not necessarily hydrate you the way a delicious glass of ice water can.
3. A button down dress shirt with no underwear is probably not the easiest way to prevent contracting crabs.
4. A lemon “roofie” shot from a stranger is not always a great idea if you have plans to stay up all night and be able o move your limbs.
But you know what? It could be me. Maybe I am just too straight arrow. Maybe I just don’t understand how it works in the “biz”. But I will say that being a responsible loser is better than a loser who may or may not wake up on a strange yacht in the middle of the ocean in a foreign country without a wallet or any memory of the night before.
So I guess it is heads or tails.
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