My college did not have sororities. Since I went to an all-women’s college one could argue we were one fat sorority house. But I have always thought I would have enjoyed being in one. I would have been President of a house full of equally sarcastic sisters devoted to 80s music and karaoke parties. Hazing would include completing break dancing routines and you could be thrown out for having an eating disorder. Gamma Delta Awesome it would be called.
And although he is technically a dude I would want Elton John in my sorority. He’s funny, dresses ridiculous, throws amazing parties, and could emcee/headline all events. Plus, he eats food. Madonna, on the other hand, would not make it past bid night. Let’s be honest. She doesn’t seem like much of a good time. She subsides on a diet rich in chia seeds, protein powder, and Evian. I doubt she drinks cocktails. All she would talk about his Kabbalah and her anti-aging rituals and then for the kicker she would try to sleep with your boyfriend.
Elton agrees. He said the following to an Australian television reporter yesterday:
“She’s such a nightmare. Sorry, her career is over. Her tour has been a disaster and it couldn’t happen to a bigger ****. If Madonna had any common sense she would have made a record like Ray of Light and stayed away from the dance stuff and just been a great pop singer and make great pop records, which she does brilliantly. But no, she had to go and prove … she looks like a f***ing fairground stripper. She’s been so horrible to Gaga.”
Who wants a fairground stripper in their sorority? Not anyone over at Gamma Delta Awesome.