I worry you are getting tired of me covering this whole Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce. But, seriously, isn’t it like the gift that keeps on giving? You take an egomaniacal movie star captured by a Science fiction reading cult and a robotic primetime soap actress seeking a new life with her child who may or may not be the biological child of his cousin or the late cult leader and you have… well you have a little piece of heaven. So forgive me.
This week: Dueling covers on US Weekly and People.
People: Tired and skinny Tom has been aching for the embrace of his child ever since his she-bride threw down divorce papers while he was stuck in Iceland. Now that filming has concluded he is back in NYC hoping to reconnect and to also find a way into Katie’s new digs so he can install listening devices under the hallway table and in the bathroom.
US Weekly: Katie is trying to instill some structure now that she is raising Suri on her own. No more cupcake lunches or Ferragamo baby clutches. Worst of all? She’s going to have to walk, as opposed to her father who believes Little Sci should be held so she can avoid thetans and potholes. This was part of the reason she had to escape, because “Suri was turning into a monster.” She’s all business now taking her to the pet store and refusing to let her bring one home and then enrolling her in Catholic School where she will live in fear of the nuns. Also, she is going to have a set bedtime. Not like the old days when she’d stay up past midnight. “Tom just used to let (Suri) stay up all night watching Scientology kids’ videos!”
BTW: What exactly is a Scientology kid’s video? Do they were Sea Org uniforms? Do the kids play fun games like “let me subject you to the e-meter or pin the tail on the suppressive person? Now I know what to get my niece and nephew for Christmas.
Author comments are in a darker gray color for you to easily identify the posts author in the comments