Okay, subjecting myself to #bachelorpad. Wonder if I will make it 2 hours.
Video montages filled with shirtless men and women staring in the distance.
Ed looks like a plumber.
Blakeley’s face does not move.
Jaclyn looks like Lita Ford.
Kalon looks like a serial killer. That or a dentist. Same thing, I guess.
Why is Paige snuggling with her friend under a blanket?
Chris looks a lil low rent, no? These girls will not like him.
Donna works at a mall and pencils in her eyebrows.
Sweet Jesus. She draws pictures of him?
David works at a bakery and has a lisp.
The twins Brittany and Erica look like they are on crystal meth.
Lindzi travels with a spray tan machine.
Bet you Ed spends half the night in the john.
Is Rachel a Heidi Fleiss girl?
32 year old virgin = not straight.
I think Reid wants to be on Days of Our Lives.
Is Jaclyn a retiree? How did she qualify?
Blakeley got her skirt at Cache.
Jaclyn is wearing a mother of the groom dress. Wedding already?
Is Michael a science teacher?
Tony might have roid issues.
Could Erica speak any slower?
I think Kalon has one long tooth.
Does Donna have a tooth piercing?
The SWAT guy needs the peddle the brakes a bit.
2 minutes in and the twins are already wasted.
Ed has lady legs.
Did Ed have to leave early so he could be admitted to Promises in Malibu?
Wowzers. Everyone looks different in the daylight.
David and the Twins should open a store together in a strip mall.
Blakeley’s teeth scare me.
Chris is wearing a pajama wife beater in his confessional.
Tears have begun.
Blakeley was upset, but her Botox prevented anyone from knowing it.
Erica would have been a great General Manager at Outback Steakhouse.
Do the twins really need to dress the same? Are they 4?
I love how they act as if the strategy is similar to a World War. It’s an ABC reality show.
Erica doesn’t want to go home to her non-job.
The Bachelor has undoubtedly ruined the red rose market.
The virgin got a rose?
Maybe SWAT should not have brought that camera.
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