The People’s Court: Kim Kardashian Divorce

I don’t know about you, but I spent a better part of my childhood watching The People’s Court. Doug Llewelyn was a host and court reporter in one and always urged viewers “Don’t take the law into your own hands: you take ‘em to court.” They were always small claims court cases and the plaintiff and the defendant would enter the courtroom to disco music. The best part of the show was Llewelyn’s interviews with the plaintiff and the defendant after the court ruling, to gauge their responses to the verdict.

Depositions have been scheduled in the Kardashian/Humphries divorce, but they won’t be videotaped. But there is still hope! Kris Humphries is pushing for cameras to tape during the divorce trial. Can we all say a collective prayer that this happens? Because that Keeping up with the Kardashians show is 100% scripted. This, on the other hand, is going to be for realz. Just a full hair show with drag makeup, spanx, and self tanner. It will be our best opportunity to get details on all the behind the scenes deal making in reality showmance history.

And I want someone to find Doug Llewelyn so he can provide the much needed analysis this case deserves.

I want the disco porn music as Kim and Kris enter the courtroom. I want cameras to scan the courtroom for Kanye, Bruce Jenner, and Babyface. I want the facts of the case typed out on the bottom in a typewriter font. I’d like to see charts depicting twitter followers before and after nuptials, money spent v. earned for the ceremony and photo sales, and most of all I want to hear discovery about the gifts Kim received from members of the Saudi royal family.

Also, would highly enjoy high-definition cameras.

Let’s make this happen.