Here’s my problem with celebrity vow renewals. The first, and most perplexing issue is why you need to go through another ceremony to remind you why you got married in the first place. Can’t you just break out the VHS tape and a bowl of pretzels and call it a day? And who wants to attend a vow renewal ceremony anyway? Believe me, they’ve already seen this show. Not many surprises here. You show up, you agree to continue to be married, and then you expect them to give you a gift while they nosh on chicken skewers and sheet cake.
The truth is that these celebrity vow renewals almost never have to do with introspection and mutual growth. They have everything to do with receiving much needed attention.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon flew to Paris, got dressed up, and then recommitted themselves to their marriage in a ceremony four years after their wedding. How do I know? They invited all the photo agencies… naturally.
Was Great Aunt Loretta or cousin Alfonzo invited? Probably not. Because the ceremony was important, so they saved the extra table space for people who work at photo agencies. Because they want to be surrounded by the most important people in their lives at a moment like that, and also because they want to be guaranteed a three-page spread in People Magazine next week (and probably $25,000 in cash).
P.S. Mariah probably has two sets of Spanx on underneath that gown. So she really was the perfect person to appear on the cover of Shape Magazine this month. All those water ballet classes really did the magic.