Celebrity Divorce Press Statements
When celebrities get divorced they often have their publicists release a statement. Take a look at two recent statements from recent break-ups:
Scarlett Johannson and Ryan Reynolds statement: “After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage. We entered our relationship with love, and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.”
Courteney Cox and David Arquette statement: “We have agreed to a trial separation that dates back for some time … We are comfortable with the boundaries that we have established for each other during this separation and we hope that our friends, family, fans and the media also show us respect, dignity, understanding and love at this time as well.”
Can you imagine if people had to do this in real life? Or what if the statements were a little more transparent? You know, something like this:
“We are thrilled to announce we are finally splitting ways after what one could only imagine has been the most miserable union in recent history. Let’s just say waking up knowing we have to spend yet another day sharing a last name, finances, and a single sink bathroom has been nothing short of a nightmare. At this point one night in Guantanamo Bay sounds like a vacation. In fact we are surprised we even got married in the first place. We had hoped one of our “friends” would have been kind enough to lock us in a hotel room on the day of the wedding so we could have avoided this whole mess in the first place. So here we are, three years later, putting out this statement in hopes that the rest of the world will know the following: 1. We are kaput. 2. We are looking forward to making out with other people in the very near future, and 3. We would prefer if everyone pretended we never got hitched in the first place. No need to ask you for some dignity at this time, we don’t have any anyway.”
Wouldn’t that be interesting?