Most Important Points From Real Housewives of Orange County This Week

Jul 29, 2014
The most important things you missed from Real Houseewives of Orange County this week.
Vicki generously took a break from the insurance office to meet Tamra for a stroll around her neighborhood. "You know how we share so many life experiences? Well, my 28-year-old son has decided he's leaving me for another woman. He's moving 8 hours away with a woman he met on Instagram a few weeks ago." Vicki understood because one elopement, two kids, and a ranch house in Oklahoma later she's still trying to understand why Brianna would want to escape her. Vicki suggested Tamra say sorry to Shannon for making her come unglued at the beach party. Can't you just support a woman with marriage problems? She's just trying to hold her marriage together, just like I am trying to hold these breasts in my jogging bra. Shannon helped prepare her daughter for her trip to Europe by packing a jumbo size bag filled with pills, a blindfold, and compression socks.
Get Away
Tamra and Heather decided they needed a girl's getaway. With Eddie teaching double Zumba and aerobics classes and Terry working the late shift at the face factory it was easier to just go away together. They called Vicki to see if she'd like to tag along on a trip to Bali. It's tropical, remote, and very romantic, which is perfect for a group of women in their 30s and 40s who secretly hate each other. Who else should we invite? Hmmm. Maybe Lizzie and the girl that threw the sweater party? Should we invite Shannon? I don't know. She's mentally unstable.
Party City
Lizzie invited everyone to her 34th birthday party, a mobile stripper party bus ride and then dinner at a restaurant in Los Angeles County, but no one showed up. She hadn't felt that alone since someone stole her pantyhose at the Miss Dixie Freedom Pageant. Shannon and Tamra had sick kids and Heather was at a Britney Spears concert. Vicki was the only one left and she wasn't exactly thrilled to go. Lizzie overheard her say she couldn't believe she had to hang out with dumb and dumber right before she boarded the party bus. Surprisingly she didn't mean Gretchen and Slade. She meant Lizzie and her friend with the Little House on the Prairie hair and the husband with a lisp. Heather threw a Valentine's Day dinner at the St. Regis but didn't invite Shannon. She'd definitely get an invitation to the emasculate your husband barbecue, but this was a special night for people who were in loving marriages. Sorry, Shanny! The place brought back old memories for Tamra and Eddie since they'd been married months before under a bedazzled bike on the property. Dinner started to get crazy when Heather prompted the guests to answer sassy questions about their private lovemaking. What's your freak factor? How do you loosen up a prude friend? Do you like to stick things in your back door?
The Talk
Tamra and Heather thought it might be a good idea to get together with Shannon for alcohol and sashimi so they could once again mutually decide to move forward. "We'd love to have you tag along on our tropical trip, but can you dial down the cuckoo for us. M'kay?" Heather explained that in all her research about Bali on Expedia she'd found that it's people practice Hinduism. It would be good for Shannon to go and seek balance and harmony freeing her from the never-ending cycle of reincarnation. Perhaps you can find salvation from your demons if we let you come? Shannon was willing to go even if it meant she'd have to wear an electric fence collar.
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